Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: The best insight, instant feedback, accountability. The all new Talk Radio Freedom 106.5 as my guest reiterated that she was very happy with that song 1 and 2. She think women need to listen to that in the mornings to boost them. You give them that positive energy. And I would have met this lady as my second guest just last week, you know.
[00:00:24] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:00:24] Speaker A: Was it Thursday? Thursday?
[00:00:26] Speaker B: I believe so.
[00:00:27] Speaker A: Yes, just last week. Thursday. And we had a wonderful conversation and then it dawned on me that we both worked at the telecoms industry.
[00:00:37] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: I was a tstt. You was a tstt. You was there since it was telco.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: That's right. During Dr. Makai Day.
[00:00:44] Speaker A: Yes. So you came back when Sam Martin was there then or just after?
[00:00:48] Speaker B: No, I left before Sam.
[00:00:50] Speaker A: Yes, just before Sam.
[00:00:51] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:00:52] Speaker C: Right.
[00:00:53] Speaker A: Andrews. Winston Andrews.
[00:00:55] Speaker B: Winston Andrews was there, yes.
[00:00:56] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:00:57] Speaker B: Richard Jackman, Richard Saunders.
[00:01:00] Speaker A: Right.
[00:01:02] Speaker B: Lloyd Jagdess, Winston Millet, Barry Stott, the crew there at that time.
[00:01:08] Speaker A: And you, I mean I read something, I read some parts of what you would have written and just before I get into it, I want to remind persons that is your roofed old entire dripping and drip, drip roof mechanics, the company has it you covered literally from metal decking to custom sheeting and flashing and aluminum guttering, all your roofing needs are covered. Find them at Dbay and Canopia or online at www.roofmechanicstt.com Roof Mechanics & Co. Ltd. They have got you covered. Alright. So I just needed to get that information out there to you for you all to check out. And also you all can check out True Value this season as they continue to have great early Christmas specials in July with Parmigiane yellow pan cornflour 1 kg 2 for $19.90 regal raisins 400 grams, 21.95. Swiss pouch ketchup, 750 ML, 2 for 1850. Catelli pasta 5 for 1995 New Zealand cheddar cheese $24.95 per pound and Nestle Green Butterfly 3 for 17.50. Remember, don't miss a deal. Scan the QR code at the register to join the WhatsApp channel. True value Shop Save Smile. So with that information out and about this morning, we continue. So let's introduce Ms. Janice. How are you?
[00:02:21] Speaker B: I am very well, thank you. And thank you very much for asking me to come and do an interview with you this morning.
[00:02:28] Speaker A: I am very happy. We had a wonderful time at Epic and I want to say good morning. Going out to Brandon, wherever you Are wonderful book that you would have written on event management. And I think you should get a copy. You know, one of the things I didn't ask is how much for it. In my position be this gate now, you know, they give you a copy and you know, or they send this stuff to you so you don't have to buy it. So you don't get a chance to know the price. But you have written a book.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: I am in the process.
[00:02:52] Speaker A: In the process.
[00:02:53] Speaker B: I am in the process of completing it.
Okay. Because you know, when you start to write a book, it takes a while to get all the, to get the outline sorted out. Well, not just that alone, but I've been wanting to write a book for years, but I was never able to put my finger on exactly what it is I wanted to talk about.
I knew I wanted to talk about relationships, but it was like, okay, what's going to be the topic? What's going to be the title? What am I going to put in it?
And it was only about we're in July, about the beginning of July that I just suddenly fell into place.
And then I sat down and said, right, let's get this sorted out and I will tell everybody. ChatGPT did all the heavy lifting for me.
[00:03:43] Speaker A: It does a lot of heavy lifting for all of us.
[00:03:45] Speaker B: It does a lot of heavy l.
It does. So now I, now I've gotten all that done. It's now to sit down and make sure that what I want to portray or get across in my book to the women out there, that's what I'm in the process of doing now. So I'm hoping to be completed by the end of September.
[00:04:04] Speaker A: Beautiful. Beautiful. And I hope you have an epic book launch as well.
[00:04:11] Speaker B: Once I can get a spot sponsor who is willing to assist in the financial to help you.
[00:04:17] Speaker A: That is something we could look into. I mean, where there's life, there's hope.
[00:04:21] Speaker B: Of course.
[00:04:21] Speaker A: So the book is entitled A woman's Guide to understanding the Game. Yes, Janice, what game are you talking about?
[00:04:31] Speaker B: The game that both men and women play.
[00:04:35] Speaker A: I like that.
[00:04:36] Speaker B: Yes. Because this is not just about woman alone. It's also about the men because you're gonna have meet women out there who have their own game on for the men.
And I am going to be speaking from the level of 43 years because I'm 63, I'm not afraid to tell my age and I have experience during those 43 years. And I've also just ended a 20 year marriage or I should say my husband Applied for the divorce.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: So what did you do? Why did the man apply for the divorce?
[00:05:16] Speaker B: Because I had reached a point in the marriage where I said, no more. I'm not taking this anymore. I'm not going to be looking after another woman's child for 18 years when my son was now hitting 20.
You see, I said, look, you always wanted an open marriage.
Take it.
[00:05:34] Speaker A: And he applied.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: No, hold on.
So in an open marriage, the man is allowed to go out there and you know, see, see who he wants, take out who he wants. And I said, well, okay, you could go ahead and do that. I will go ahead and do my thing, but we will stay together in the home and keep the finances in the home.
And in the beginning it was great because every Friday he would go by Angus tour and get his alcohol and he would fill up a, a cooler with all his drinks and then he would go and pick up the lady friend and go in the Savannah and Lime on a Friday night.
[00:06:10] Speaker A: And you were at school with her?
[00:06:12] Speaker B: Yes, I had signed off from that aspect of the marriage, so. And when he's leaving, he would say, okay, I'm going. I said, okay, have a wonderful time. What time you think it might be back home? He said, maybe around 2ish, but I don't know yet. Said no problem. Because in case, if I wake up and he's not there, I, if something may have happened, you know, at least I could start making a phone call.
[00:06:36] Speaker A: Right? Because you expected around this time, if I see beyond this, I could look at you. But beyond that, if I wake up half past 12 and I see you did tell me too, so.
[00:06:44] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:06:44] Speaker A: Yes. Noted, noted.
[00:06:47] Speaker B: And he, there was one time when he was dating two women at the same time and he actually came and he talked about it to me and I said, listen so and so you cannot do that. You have to let each one know that they're in the running.
So it's only fair to the woman, you know. And he would talk to me about his situations and so on and I.
[00:07:10] Speaker A: Would coach him because you are a life coach as well. And I'm somebody messaging me. David, we run out of time. You know, don't worry, we will have a part two, especially when her book is completed. We definitely, because I read parts of certain things that were sent to me and I was like, oh my God, this is a man bashing thing here. I said to my producer, I said, would we put her on? She said, no, no, no, she's going to kneel. Your show. I'M like, oh my God, I have to defend it for the men. But then I love the way you introduced it. It applies to both men and women.
[00:07:40] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:07:41] Speaker A: And what you have just alluded to with this open marriage, you have explained something that I don't think Trin Begonians we as a society ready for that type of relationship.
[00:07:49] Speaker B: But it's happening currently.
[00:07:50] Speaker A: But not openly. It is hidden.
You have discussed it and said, but then openly means he can date. What does it mean for you? Could you date as well?
[00:08:00] Speaker B: Yes, of course you can.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: Right? And. But we come back home, we are not moving out.
[00:08:06] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: Do we sleep out?
[00:08:08] Speaker B: If you want to, yes.
[00:08:09] Speaker A: You can spend a weekend out.
[00:08:10] Speaker B: Yes. But you come back because remember, it's an open marriage. So you can more or less go off and do what you would like to do.
And there's no judgment, there's no quarreling at all, you see? But most importantly, because, I mean, we have bills to pay and we need to ensure that the finances keep going into the pot to pay the bills and we or both will have a roof over our heads. If he wants to go and spend time with the lady at an apartment that perhaps he may want to pay the rent for you go ahead, brother.
[00:08:44] Speaker A: But just make sure home is paid for.
[00:08:45] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:08:46] Speaker A: But then what does this speak to the intimacy of the couple? Are they still intimate?
[00:08:51] Speaker B: No.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: So intimacy between out the window. Done.
[00:08:55] Speaker B: Done, Done, done. Because when a man goes and sleeps.
[00:09:00] Speaker A: With a woman, it is okay.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: When a man goes and have relationships and he comes now to sleep with you, you're sleeping with all the women that he has just slept with.
Right. And this is where STDs come in.
[00:09:16] Speaker A: Must you protect yourself?
[00:09:18] Speaker B: Agreed. I agree protect yourself. But I have no longer any emotional feelings towards you. You're just now gone into the. I've now put you into the box that says friend.
And so it's like two people sharing roommates. Roommates. Correct. We're not roommates.
You see, we share the same bed. But hello, you stay to your side and I'll stay to my side, you know, but he didn't want. He was not happy with that. And I think.
[00:09:47] Speaker A: I would imagine not.
[00:09:48] Speaker B: That's why he eventually decided to go off with the last one, which I didn't have a problem with either.
[00:09:55] Speaker A: So he has moved out.
[00:09:56] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:09:56] Speaker A: And he's gone, left you in the house and he's moved on. Yes. You all still remain friends. You'll have a child together.
[00:10:01] Speaker B: We have a child together. We do. We are still on Speaking terms.
But his current lady friend doesn't want that. Doesn't want that. You know, she. She controls the phone.
She. She controls the fact that he can't come to the house.
[00:10:16] Speaker A: So he jumped out of the.
[00:10:18] Speaker B: Out of the foot straight into the fire. I mean, I thought I was bad, but she's worse.
[00:10:24] Speaker A: And that's what they say. The grass is not always greener on the other side. That is interesting. Yes, it is.
[00:10:30] Speaker B: But you also have to remember why a man goes with a woman.
There are several reasons. One, he genuinely likes her. He loves her, or she has a purpose to serve for him.
I learned in the second year of my marriage that my husband did not love me.
When we got married, he chose me because he was looking for. For a mother for his child who was living with him at the time.
That was my purpose, you see. Now, at the time, I said, well, okay. It didn't matter to me at that time because there were several peoples whose lives would have been impacted with if I had decided, here, what? Take your things and go. Right there would have been his daughter, my nephew, his mother, who were living without me at the time, but living with asses under the same roof at the time. So I just said, well, okay, fine. And then I just given birth to my son.
Then he goes on, by the way, I honed you.
[00:11:36] Speaker A: He said these things to you? Yes. That I don't love you. Yes. I don't love you like that.
[00:11:41] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:11:42] Speaker A: And I cheated on you. Correct. Well, Trinidad is you horned?
[00:11:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
Now, again, I could have said, well, okay, take your things and go.
But four lives were going to be impacted. And I grew up in the tradition where parents tend to stay together because of the children, so that they grow in a family environment. Now, mind you, when my husband and ex husband and I would go out and have. We would have fun, people would look at us and never know some of the issues that I personally was experiencing, you see? So now that when they now find out, well, I'm divorced, they go, oh, I'm so sorry. I go, what are you sorry for? I say, I'm not sorry. I am relieved.
It's finally over, done with. I don't have to be worrying who you're going with, what time you're going home, if you're really going where you say you're going, your phone going bing, bing, bing, bing, whole night.
You know, I come home and I see you on the. On the couch in the gallery, and you spend whole day talking to the woman you know, and you have her in the kitchen. And that's one thing. I didn't quite like the disrespect. You want to have a woman outside, do not bring her into your home. Do not bring her into your kitchen. Do not bring her into your bed on the phone.
That, to me is a disrespect to whether it's your wife, your girlfriend, or common law whatever. Right. But it's disrespectful. And I used to tell him, go out into the gallery and have your conversation. You cannot expect to sit in this bed and be texting the woman and she texting you back, go outside.
You're disrespecting me right now. And he would get up and grudgingly go outside, you see? So 43 years of experience, 20 years of marriage, and finally coming into my own.
Because let me tell you, when I did make the decision to make the move, it was like a weight just came off of my shoulders.
Yes, I was going through the. The trauma of finances because, I mean, the bills still got to get paid. But you got to give Jack his jacket. He did ensure that he looked after us financially, so I did not have that worry, especially when I had to go and do my triple bypass surgery.
So give Jack his jacket. Finances. He never called, he never visited again.
I was not hurt because I was expecting it.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: You see, the thing about it is what you said that was so startling is that you unearthed this in the early onset of your marriage. You're talking two years in and out.
[00:14:23] Speaker B: Yes. And then years later, I went to him, I said, you know, I miss the man that I married in the first year of marriage, because that was the only year where I was truly happy. I thought I had hit the jackpot, you know, and then. But something kept in the back of my mind saying, don't go there just yet. Don't go just yet.
He still has to prove himself.
And then one day he says to me, So I said to him, why?
Why? Where's the man? Where's the man that I. You were in that first year. And you know what he said to me? He said, I couldn't show you who I am.
I couldn't because else you would not have married me. And he was correct. Because I wanted to keep. Get married to a man who was a one man woman.
Right. I didn't want. I had been around the men who were cheating on their wives and so on, and I didn't want to go have to be in that category.
So the one thing that was in his favor was the Fact that he got along well with my father, who was the patriarch of the family. And it was important to me that he got along well with my dad.
That was, that was the five stars that he got.
[00:15:46] Speaker A: One person would say that you would have sacrificed your life to make another man happy or other people.
[00:15:53] Speaker B: No, I disagree with that because during the years I focused, instead of focusing on what was happening on that side, I started to focus on me educating myself because I knew one day, the day was going to come when I was going to be single again. And I wanted to make sure that I was going to be financially independent and not have to be relying on his money from him, you know, but. But what I did was to. Because I was into. I've worked in legal departments and stuff like that. I made sure that when I did, I did the divorce settlement agreement.
I did it. And the last thing in the agreement was he could not touch the money in the account until after the absolute document came through.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: Right. Because they get the decree in Isai first.
[00:16:53] Speaker B: Correct. So only then. And then we would go to sort out the financing where he will get his portion every month and I'll get my portion every month.
[00:17:03] Speaker A: And that's it.
[00:17:04] Speaker B: And that's it.
[00:17:05] Speaker A: Yes, let's take a call quickly. And I mean, I want to tell you thank you very much for sharing. This sets the tone for a second visit. And I'm being very honest with you because your book is coming out.
I want to get you back as a life coach to share some of the experiences. And one of the things listeners that you have to appreciate with this young lady, because she's saying 63, but I'm being very honest. I see 52, I see 10 years younger. I'm not. I'm shocked that it's 63.
[00:17:34] Speaker B: Thank you very much.
[00:17:35] Speaker A: And then I met her at Arthur Lockjack last week and we had a few. And we talked. Yes, we chatted. There was another lady there with us. I can't remember her name, but we chatted a lot. And I am shocked that in 63 I was seeing a lady in her 50s. And I remember inviting you. So you have set the catalyst for a part two. You have told your story more or less, and people find you. One person is saying that you are a keeper.
[00:17:59] Speaker B: A keeper.
[00:18:00] Speaker A: I don't know. That's what he said.
Oh, they asked about what? About spiritual. The spiritual side to this and the. And the God given laws with an open marriage.
[00:18:11] Speaker B: Okay. Now neither he nor I are very spiritual in the classic word spiritual.
[00:18:21] Speaker A: Okay. Okay.
[00:18:22] Speaker B: I have done my own.
I have my own relationship with God.
In my opinion, I do not feel that I need to go to church to talk to God. And I have experiences where I have talked to God in my bathroom with a situation and he delivered.
[00:18:42] Speaker A: Understood.
[00:18:43] Speaker B: Right. So.
[00:18:44] Speaker A: So okay. Because what happened with the open marriage A text or message me.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: But remember with the open marriage we have, it was like reverting to be having a roommate.
[00:18:57] Speaker A: You see. But somebody differs with what you're saying. They say if we. If we in an open marriage, it means that we could date other people. But we are still together. We are still. So your definition.
[00:19:07] Speaker B: My definition is okay.
[00:19:10] Speaker A: So an open marriage according to you says you do what you want, I do what I want.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: But we stay married.
[00:19:17] Speaker A: We stay married, we live in the same house, we pay the bills, we normal.
[00:19:20] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:19:21] Speaker A: But we are no longer intimate.
[00:19:22] Speaker B: All right. Well, one thing and even so if he has a function that he has to go to and he needed me to be there instead of taking the outside woman, he would have taken me and it's fine. And I would have taken.
[00:19:34] Speaker A: Because you both understood that.
[00:19:35] Speaker B: Yes, there was an understanding. There was an agreement in police.
[00:19:39] Speaker A: This is. Hello, Good morning.
[00:19:42] Speaker C: Hello. Morning.
I love that lady too badly approach and analyze life and work on life. I know sometimes we need to do that in terms of. For the psyche of the children involved. Right. Because you see not all children really could to take the battles of our separation in it to get remember. And so the same she's saying she was close to her dad. So they are seeing you have a good relationship with your dad and their dad now and you doesn't have a good relationship. You're showing them the children that are you allowing it to manifest itself? I know so many people have to be so sensitive with that at that point in time you got to be really sensitive to the mental state of the children. Which is that more important than any money or anything because.
[00:20:28] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:20:29] Speaker C: You give me $10 million and the mental state there it make no sense. I don't know. Hands off to you. I'd like to see her bring her back again. I understand a looking. Can I some book. But these are my ladies to keep in contact with in terms of kind of like educating young girls and young married couples how to deal with marriage and macularly situation without being emotional emotions cloth all our judgment and throw everything out the window. Have a blessed night. I didn't get the name but blessing.
[00:20:54] Speaker B: That may God Janice Layman the creaky thank you very much for the compliment.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: And I have numerous requests to bring you back. So it is going to happen. All right, we'll speak to the producer. You're definitely going to be on a part two and I think the catalyst that set the tone for it would be you telling your story. And Apka now people saying, I have two messages. One, bring her back, bring her back. This topic, really important topic. Devi, you wouldn't be, you wouldn't, you would. You'd be surprised how many marriages going through this right now. Another one says a man will always be a man.
This lady is a keeper for serious minded persons, you know.
Yeah, somebody said this is a, this conversation. What is happening here?
But definitely, I mean, the only thing.
[00:21:46] Speaker B: I would like to say is we need to have the same way we had sexual education in schools, we need to have a session with young people about relationships, what to expect, how to deal with a man who comes around you with sweet talk, how to deal with a man who, you know, tells you gaslights you.
Now, I experienced that just a couple months back and I kept saying, but why you keep putting me down? I mean, I think I'm a positive person. I'm very confident and you keep trying to make me feel like nothing.
And I said, you know what?
Back in the friend zone for you without any issues, you know. So my thing is we need to have sessions with these young people for both the young girls and the young boys because that way they, they can save themselves a lot of heartache going forward and going through there, you know, as they get older into adulthood.
[00:22:50] Speaker A: Life coach Janice chatting with me this morning a few minutes seconds away from the hour of nine. I want to say thank you very much for this last 27 minutes of conversation. Very, very much spirited. Even though persons disagree, you're entitled. So we say thank you.
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